Simracers dictionary

Hey guys, just in my lunch break, I was looking through the forum, seeing what a pelicular bunch we simracers are. Thinking about some discussions I thought it would be fun to pick up some often used words and give them a short explanation. The whole point is to be funny, please don´t feel offended

Alien:
A simracer who can do laptimes that normal human beings can only dream about.
DLC:
Downloadable content, further cars or tracks which the simracer can buy for his simulation. Typically comes out late with the wrong cars, a dumb track and way too expensive.
Enough:
The simracer only knows this word when combined with a negation, example: "There are not enough tracks / cars".
Ferrari F40:
A supercar built by Ferrari in the 80s and 90s. Due to the turbocharged engine, it is not easy to control at high power outputs, yet rookie simracers often use it for their first laps and complain about the sim being impossibly hard after they fail.
Flatspots:
When blocking the wheel, the scraped off side is called a flatspot. Still only partly explained by laws of physics, as to how multiple flatspots interfere and how they affect braking.
Force Feedback:
The haptical feedback that is reproducing the steering forces with electric motors, between a few hundred W and several kW. Also a good excuse for bad laptimes.
FOV:
Field of View, the angle of view which is displayed on the monitor. Often brought up as an excuse as to why the simracer did bad laptimes.
Mod:
Additional content for the sim created by other users in their free time. Usually still far off reality it is rude how the creator can ask for the price he set, which is usually for free.
Porsche:
German car brand that has been absent in most simulations during the last 10 years, also referenced as "The holy grail".
Simcade:
Basically every sim the simracer doesn´t use himself.
The Ring:
Nürburgring Nordschleife, a mystical track in the Eifel region in Germany, the typical simracer brags about racing there, but usually manages only 5 of the 20km per lap without hitting a wall.

Feel free to add some more, but stay friendly!

 

Simulation Value:
The one and only thing that transforms a game into a sim.

Understeer:
If you can see the tree you'll crash into, it is understeer.

Oversteer:
If you feel the tree before you see it, then it's oversteer.
(and for german-speaking drivers: fährste quer siehste mehr)

Rear-mounted engines:
According to everyone* a concept that can't be fast around tracks in any way.

*except for the makers of the holy grails.

 

Off Topic: Discussing things not relevant to the thread in order to anger the Hornbuckle.

Whinging: A hobby some sim racers seem to enjoy more than actually racing.

Arguing: Another hobby some sim racers seem to enjoy more than actually racing.

Wishlists: Listing cars/tracks you wish were in the game but aren't; Another way to anger the Hornbuckle.

Balloons: A hot topic of never-ending debate in the sim racing community. Read Here

Ripped: Converted mods stolen from other games/modders without permission; A state of inebriation sim racers often find themselves in.


Joking/Not Joking.

 

Rain and Night:
Mystical legends nobody could ever prove to be existing, like Bigfoot, Nessy or stress-free days of @Lord Kunos

 

ILS (Input Lag Syndrome):
A disease that results in simracers spending thousands of dollars buying bleeding edge technology all in the pursuit of minimizing input lap. ILS is responsible for everything from slow laptimes all the way to making a game completely broken and unplayable.

:
The most commonly used emoticon/smiley in any simracing forum.

:
The second most used emoticon/smiley in simracing forums.

Cheese Fries:
Whenever a thread has completely derailed and/or devolved into pure wishlist territory, inserting a high-res image of glorious cheese fries is a great way of boosting your post count while signalling that the thread is ready for either a purge or a lock.

 

On-topic: the first post of a simracing forum topic.
Off-topic: any post after the first in a simracing forum topic

This topic being the exception that proves the rule.

 

Muppet:
Online racer with zero respect for anyone else.

 

SUV: A sport utility vehicle or suburban utility vehicle.
Free or not they should not be included in sim racing (For more info see Whinging)

Laser Scanned: Technology that Recreates Tracks with Unrivaled Accuracy and Authenticity.
True sim racers will not put their virtual foot at any track that is not laser scanned (For more info see Whinging)

EDIT:

Free Content: At no cost for the Sim Racer
Mite include fictional or non laser Scanned Tracks and SUV,s that is not appreciated by some whin...eh....Sim Racers

Sorry it seems to be a theme to my additions........

 

(cant do bold on my phone)

GR, GL, GLA, GL HF, GW, FR, SRY, THX:
a sim racers attempt at communication.

Le Mums:
any race longer than 20 laps in an SUV.

(in game) Which car and/or track would you like?:
Provokes a pavlovian response where sim racers immediately leave and look for something else OR hit the track and start qualifying.

 

A Blue Flag: A nicely coloured square that appears on screen when it is OK to get in the way of faster drivers.

Soon™: When that crucial final addition to your sim of choice is to be expected.

 

Lol

 

Alien definition should be revised to note "May involve illegal mods or hacking".

 

Cheating:
The reason somebody is faster than you.

 

Hardware: Urgently needs an update, causes bad laptimes.

Wheel: Minimal required hardware to differentiate one from an absolute arcade racer, who obviously doesn't value a true simulation

 

Direct drive wheel: A technical marvel, that is able to hack into simulations FFB code and change it into something even the devs didn't know about.
Consumer level wheel: Delivers good FFB in simcade.
Serious sim: Something that is harder to drive than a real car.
Racecar: Something that nobody has driven but everyone knows how it handles.
Dead content: Every track which isn't Spa/Nords and every car which isn't GT3. Any content you don't like in general.
SUV: Very dangerous type of malware, that may try to contaminate your HDD. If this happens, immediately pour gasoline over HDD and set it on fire in the backyard, before further damage ensues.
Sense of Speed: Imaginary thing, that many people are enthusiastic about. Resembles religion in some ways

 

Car Physics: a list of numbers that can be copy/pasted from the car manufacturers website

Tire model: a few lines of computercode that increase simulation value as the version number increases.

I guess we can scrap SUV from the dictionary as they have nothing to do with simracing? But:

Maserati Levante: not a SUV and an interesting addition to Assetto Corsa.

 

G.A.S.: Gear Acquisition Syndrome, the undying desire to constantly buy new sim racing equipment.

 

Widowmaker:
See Yellowbird

Yellowbird:
See Widowmaker

Simulation Value:
A highly sophisticated mathematical model that judges the simulation factor of a sim racing title by a single real number. Ok, it might be imaginary as well.

 

MB= More Beer
GLA= Go look Animal!
HF= Holy F***
TC= Twa* Control

lol

 

Sorry:
Sod off, rambo racer, you!